Wednesday, 3 September 2014

 NEW POST:The Cool Animals and Wonder Worm
One cool day in the Cool Animals' Clubhouse, they were thinking about pie when their new manager, the Rabbit of Wisdom said 'Animals, our numbers are dropping low and we need a new Animal to get our numbers higher.' So on Sunday they had an audition for the new Cool Animal. They tried each animal. They thought they should have the Super Duper Dragon but he wasn't real. Then a worm named Mr Dave Worm also known as Wonder Worm when he got confused said, 'Yo! 'Sup, I am Mr D Worm.' Then his nephew said, ''Sup. This is my uncle. I just want to warn you that he sometimes gets really confused. Sometimes. Just warning you guys.'
'Thanks,' said the Pretty Peacock, looking in her mirror, not listening.
So, they watched Mr D Worm rap. This is his rap: 'Yo. I am the Worm. Yeah Yeah. So please pick me. I have a pie, dude. Pick me!'  WORD.
Dude you win welcome to the CA's said the pretty peacock
'Ok,' said the Cool Animals,  'NOW AUDITIONS ARE OVER!
'Awww,' said the other Animals.
So when thay got home they welcomed MR D Worm with
 KFC and they talked.
Then MR D Worm turned to ...... WONDER WORM!!!!!!
'OH glob,' said the Cool Animals, 'What should we do?'
Then the Relaxed Elephant said: 'I know, let's call Wonder Worm's nephew When they where calling Boy Worm, Wonder Worm said:
Where am I? Who's my dog? Why am I a pink worm? Wait I will save you chair! Do not worry!'
Hello any one there The Relaxed Elephant calling.
Yes boy worm here is my uncle bothering you?
Yes said the Proud but nice dog please help us .
Ok here 1# get some beer 2# stuff him in the beer bottle 3# let him fall asleep 4# wait for 5 days then when he wakes up he will be good for now said Boy Worm.
Thanks said the Relaxed Elephant bye!
So Wonder Worm got in the beer.
When 5 days where done Wonder Worm was MR D Worm.
They had a big party with pie and cookies and lots of nice things.
The Animals said let's never get a new animal they never did so when you see a pink worm just think is that MR D Worm or Wonder Worm.

Tuesday, 2 September 2014

The cool animals: a book by Tessa Dagut

Chapter 1:

The  loud snail went to the airport. He was going to visit the Olympic games. And he saw that there was no number 13. And he was confused because he thought that he was actually in number 14. When he went to see the pilot he said actually you are number 14. Oh said the loud snail I will go back now. When the plane started it rumbled. The proud but nice dog said don't be afraid. It's just the plane.  Ok said the loud snail. When it was time to have some lunch then the relaxed elephant said let's just dig in. But the proud but nice dog said there is no dirt. But I don't mean dig in the ground. Ok said the proud but nice dog I understand. But it's your funeral.

Chapter 2:

The relaxed elephant said, "Why do you not like the Olympic Games?" The loud snail said,"Because when I was in the  Olympics I was a Runner and I got in Last. Ok I will not be afraid. But it doesn't matter who wins. Then the plane stopped and they caught their bags. I want to see the pretty peacock and we can all go on the London eye said the proud but nice dog. Hello said the pretty peacock. Then they all went to see the London eye. Now it's time to see the Olympic games.

Chapter 3:

The Olympic games begins. At the end of the hockey match the bronze medal was won by India. The silver medal got won by Israel. And the gold medal got won by South Africa  said the relaxed elephant

Chapter 4:

Then all of the cool animals went to the hotel and had a party. And the relaxed elephant drank too much beer and the pretty peacock thought it was funny.

The End

Sorry if this was a bit mush Tessa made in 2012.


The Cool Animals: Book I: Introducing the Cool Animals and some other people and some rules and telling the first story
We are the authors of this book. One of us is an old man who types all day; the other one is a cool Nine-year-old child.  (was  8 when wrote this!)
We are writing these books for fun, to make you laugh and so you can read a book without falling asleep. Also, we want money. This is a NOT an educational book. That means no water colours and only funny lessons.
These books are about the Cool Animals and some other peeps. We will tell you about them now.
The Cool Animals
The Relaxed Elephant
[Insert portrait of Relaxed Elephant wearing a white wig and tuxedo]
Type of creature:  Elephant, what do you think?
Powers:  Being relaxed; can stomp on people who annoy him if they don’t stop after he’s asked them three times (in a nice way)
Favourite things: beer, TV, flying his plane, playing ‘Aeroplane of Love’ (We will tell you what that is later)
Best friends: The Proud but Nice Dog and Mr D. Worm
The Proud but Nice Dog
[Insert picture of the PbND chasing a trophy]
Type of creature: Overgrown sausage dog
Powers: Winning competitions and helping people
Best friends: Himself and the Relaxed Elephant. (Mostly himself, by the way)

The Pretty Peacock
[Insert picture of the PP at the Miss Bird competition]
Type of creature: Peacock. She used to be a boy. We will tell all about that when we are ready.
Powers: Can distract any boy with just a wink of her eye
Best friend: Her makeup. She is a vain kind of bird.
The Greedy but Grateful Grasshopper
[Insert picture of GGG eating a cake. He looks shocked and has crumbs all over his mouth]
Type of creature: A greedy and grateful grasshopper. Also a nightclub singer called Linda. We also tell you about that later.
The Loud Snail
[Insert picture of LS winning a spelling bee at junior school]
Powers: Being very loud. Afraid of French restaurants. Good speller.
Best friend: His cousin, the Quiet Snail.
Wonder Worm aka Mr D Worm
[Insert picture of Wonder Worm with his cape]
Type of creature: This is complicated. He’s a worm but he’s also a very confused superhero and a novelist who writes serious books.
Powers: When he is Mr D Worm, writing serious helpful books with no pictures and no jokes. When he is Wonder Worm, trying to save people and things that don’t need saving.
Useful fact: Will change from Wonder Worm into Mr D Worm if you put him in a beer bottle for five days.
Best friends: His wife, Wanda Worm, and his nephew, Boy Worm.

Boy Worm
[Insert picture of Boy Worm wearing his propeller cap]
Type of creature: Also a worm
Powers: Saving his uncle and calling the Relaxed Elephant to help
Wanda Worm
[Insert picture of Wanda Worm getting married to Mr D Worm]
Type of creature: Also a worm. We like worms. Don’t judge us.
Powers: Normal worm lady, except when she is confused, when she’s a three year old who’s teething. Good at chewing.
Other creatures
Mr Bitey Yummyblood
[Insert picture of Mr BY driving the Cool Animals’ Cool Bus. He is wearing his red vampire cape and his cap that says ‘Best Driver’]
Type of creature: Vampire, but not scary
Powers: Flying, driving well. Very strong and very fast. Good singer. Enjoys blood.
Favourite movie: Twilight

Hooloo the Owl
[Insert soppy watercolour of wise-looking owl]
Type of creature: Educational animal
Powers: Annoying everyone with his love of nature and his wisdom. Actually an idiot.
The Roly-Poly Bird
[Insert soppy watercolour of dumb parrot]
Type of creature: Educational animal, a bit like a parrot.
Powers: Even dumber than Hooloo the Owl. Copies Hooloo a lot.
·        Sometimes we talk about beer. This is Cool Animal beer. Not real beer. Step away from the fridge. Leave your father’s beer alone.
·        We are not educational authors. Really. For example, we are not teaching you anything about ‘Aeroplane of Love.’ Don’t even think of trying that at home. Dumbo. (sorry!)
·        Don’t copy our animals. You can draw them and show them to your friends, though.
·        If you like you can buy two of our books. Or more. Really, as many as you want.
The First Story: The Relaxed Elephant and the ‘Evil’ Hedgehogs
One cool, fresh morning, just about 7.30 am, the Relaxed Elephant got out of bed and went to the bathroom. He was feeling good. He thought it was going to a be good day. He was planning to relax by the pool and catch rays. As he brushed his tusks and his teeth, he heard some squeaking and he knew exactly who it was: the ‘Evil’ Hedgehogs.
They were playing in his bath. One of them, Rob, was underwater. The second brother, Bob, was playing  with the taps, switching them on and off, on and off. The oldest brother, Gregory, was biting the soap with his sharp yellow teeth, making the Relaxed Elephant’s soap – which was the expensive Too Tough To Fight brand – dirty.
The Relaxed Elephant saw them. He said, ‘What are you doing in my bath?’
They said – all together – ‘We are exploring the great big sea of idiots. And that means you, pal.’
Then the Relaxed Elephant grabbed them by their necks and said, ‘GET OUT!’
They said, ‘Oh, fine…’ And away they went.
At 12 o’clock, the Relaxed Elephant was lying down near the pool. The ‘Evil’ Hedgehogs were underwater. When the Relaxed Elephant went in the pool, Rob swam over and stuck his sharp quills into the Relaxed Elephant’s bum. The Relaxed Elephant didn’t feel a thing and he grinned and he went under water to see the hedgehogs. He grabbed them by their quills and he threw them out of the garden.
At suppertime, the Relaxed Elephant sat down, and guess who was in his sub. The ‘Evil’ Hedgehogs. So he said, ‘I think I’ll eat this sub.’ So he opened his mouth and put the whole sub in. Then the ‘Evil’ Hedgehogs screamed.
‘I do not want to be eaten alive,’ said Rob.
‘Do not worry, my young ones,’ said  Gregory, ‘we might make it out alive. I have a plan. Let’s climb on the Relaxed Elephant’s tongue and tickle him.’
When then Relaxed Elephant gave up, he spat them out and they said, ‘Ha, ha idiot, we win.’
‘Ok,’ said the Relaxed Elephant, ‘have it your way. Just go stand on that big white X on the floor over there. Now, please will you promise to behave.’
Bob and Rob and Gregory said, ‘Never, dumbo. Can’t you tell from our names that we don’t behave.’
The Relaxed Elephant sighed and said, ‘Ok, here’s the thing. I give you three chances and I always ask nicely. This is your second chance. Please stop being evil or otherwise you will regret it.’
The ‘Evil’ Hedgehogs said, ‘Never. This is our life. We are just really naughty guys.’
The Relaxed Elephant sighed more, and said, ‘Guys, please. Two questions. One, are you all nicely arranged on the white cross? And, two, will you please stop being evil?’
The hedgehogs said, ‘Two answers. Yes, we are on the cross. It’s fine. Dumbo. And two…. NEEEEEVAAAH!”
So the Relaxed Elephant came over and stomped them flat as a pancake with his mighty foot.
Educational lesson: If the Relaxed Elephant ever gives you three chances, take one of them.
The End.

Hope you like reading it next post:in about ten mins :)